What are realistic expectations of our husbands as spiritual leaders/heads?

Recently I have found myself in conversations about spiritual leadership/headship. My newly married friends and a few of our single friends have been talking about husbands being spiritual leaders/heads. What does this mean and is it realistic. If it is what really are we looking for from our husbands.

So the discussion begun - what do women expect from their husbands spiritually?

Some said:

• I want him to be leading our family devotion

• I would want him to initiate prayer times in the family

• I would want him to share spiritual revelations/experiences with me

And many other comments depending on the lady. So that got me thinking?

Do we go into marriage with unrealistic expectations? For those who have been married longer are we experiencing what the ladies are looking forward to in marriage?

So I gathered that some ladies are really enjoying that spiritual leadership from their husbands, while others are wishing for it.

I need to mention this quite early to those who are not - that does not mean therefore that your marriage is failing. I know of a couple who

I had not heard about this concept of a spiritual leader/head until I started praying for a husband. I grew up in a Christian family, really didn't understand the dynamics of spiritual leadership - although my dad led our family devotion every evening.

During my spiritual detour (totally lost my way to the Lord), I met my husband. He encouraged me back to the Lord and guided me in restoring my relationship with God. He taught me much, even before we got married, and this became such an attraction for me to marry Him. His maturity in the Word of God made me look forward to spending our lives together as I imagined what our devotion times would be like. This was an answered prayer.

Well, less than a month in our marriage, I realized that he had not initiated any prayers or bible study with me. I talked to him about my desire to pray and study with him and how this would build our spiritual intimacy. Severally, I could tell he did it because I expected it not because he truly had it in him. I would get really agitated in me, I would get angry and stressed because he spent a lot of time reading the word, but never asked me to join him. When we had company in the house he would share revelations from scripture, give very powerful insights from the word, but he didn't do that with me. This threw me off and I even started thinking he didn't love me no more. I even saw him as a failure in spiritual leadership.

We have been married seven years now, love each other so much, share everything together - I am grateful to God for my husband - but we don't do our devotions together. Has he failed in leading me spiritually?

Recently, my lady friends (some newly married), have shared with me their anxiety about the same. They want their husbands to initiate prayers, bible studies and all other spiritual things that lead to 'spiritual intimacy'. Many have said we don't do anything together spiritually except going to church...don't pray together (except over meals, at church, things like that), don't share our spiritual experiences and don't read the Bible together...he doesn't even read to/with the kids...

Many didn't expect things to be this way... many thought that since their husbands are believers they would be the head/spiritual leader in home.

Others have been truly blessed and have husbands who have taken these role seriously (we envy you). Any insights? What do you think we expect too much from our husbands? Have our husband failed as spiritual leaders? Any ideas on how we can encourage our husbands? Husbands, are we expecting to much?